Safety During An Explosive Incident

• If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in an area with access to an exit and not in a bathroom, kitchen, or near weapons.
• Practice getting out of your home safely. identify which doors, windows, elevator or stairwell would be best.
• Have a packed bag ready and keep it in an undisclosed, but accessible place in order to leave quickly.
• Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask them to call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.
•  Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends  and neighbors if you need police.
• Decide and plan for where you will go if you  leave (even if you don’t think you will need to).
• Use you instinct and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what they want to calm them down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.
• REMEMBER: You don’t deserve to be hit or threatened.

Power and Control and the Law

Wisconsin State Statutes

Crimes of Physical Violence

940.19(1)-(6) Battery-Simple, Substantial, Aggravated

939.32(1)&(3) Attempted Battery

940.20(1m) Battery to Person Subject to restraining order or Tribal Order

940.21 Mayhem

940.23 Reckless injury

940.24 Injure by Negligent Handling Dangerous Weapon

Crimes of Sexual Violence

940.225(1) First degree sexual assault

940.225(2) Second Degree Sexual Assault

940.225(3) Third Degree Sexual Assault

940.225(3m) Fourth Degree Sexual Assault

Using Coercion & Threats

943.30 Threats to injure or accuse of crime

940.42-45 Intimidation of Victim/Witness

941.23 Carrying Concealed Weapon

946.31 & 939.30 Solicitation to Commit Perjury

Using Intimidation

940.32 Stalking

940.42-45 Intimidation of Victim/Witness

943.14 Criminal tresspass to Dwelling

947.013 Harrassment

941.24 Possession of Switchblade Knife

Using Emotional Abuse

941.30 Recklessly Endangering Safety

943.01 Damage of Property

947.013 Harassment

951.02 Mistreating Animals

Using Isolation

940.30 False Imprisonment

940.305 Taking Hostage

940.31 Kidnapping

943.14 Criminal Trespass to Dwelling

942.05 opening Letters

Minimizing Denying & Blaming

946.41 Resisting or Obstructing an Officer

947.01 Disorderly Conduct

Using Children

940.31 Kidnapping

940.32 Stalking

Ch.948 Crimes Against Children

948.31 Interference with Custody

Using Male Privilege

941.01 Negligent Operation of Vehicle

941.20 Endangering Safety by Use of Dangerous Weapon

931.30 Recklessly Endangering Safety

943.01 Criminal Damage of Property

Using Economic Abuse

943.20 Theft

943.38  Forgery

943.02 Arson

943.10 Burglary

943.32 Robbery

943.39(2) Fraudulent Writings

940.285 Abuse to Vulnerable Adult

The following crimes might fit any of the behaviors listed on the wheel:

Chapter 813 Violation of a restraining order, including foreign orders of protection

939.05 Parties to Crime

939.24 Criminal Recklessness

939.25 Criminal Negligence

939.30 Solicitation

939.31 Conspiracy

939.32 Attempting Crimes

939.46 Coercion

946.49 Bail Jumping

947.01 Disorderly Conduct

940.42-45 Intimidation of Victim/Witness

940.31 Stalking

947.013 Harassment

947.012 Unlawful Use of Telephone

947.0125 Unlawful use of Computerized Communication System

940.285 Abuse of Vulnerable Adult

943.30 Threats to Injure

 

Escalating of Violence

verbal abuse

l

throwing things, punching walls

l

pushing, shoving, grabbing, throwing things at the victim

l

slapping with open hand

l

kicking, biting

l

hitting with closed fist

l

attempted strangulation

l

beating up-pin to the wall, floor, repeated kicks, multiple punches

l

threats with a weapon

l

assaults with a weapon

Many abusers do not use violence until other forms of control have failed. If law enforcement is called to the scene of an attempted strangulation it is probable that most of the lessor acts have occurred in prior incidents whether reported or not.

Dispelling the Myths of Domestic Violence

Myth:     Domestic abuse is less serious than other crimes.

Truth:     Domestic violence accounts for a significant proportion of all serious crimes-aggravated assaults, rape and homicides.

Myth:     Domestic abuse happens in poor families or in families of color.

Truth:     Domestic abuse occurs in all economic, racial, religious and cultural backgrounds. People with few economic resources/options are more likely to call law enforcement for assistance.

Myth:     “Minor” incidents of violence are normal in every relationship.

Truth:     Violence usually does not occur until other forms of control have failed and tends to escalate. No level of violence should occur in a healthy family.

Myth:     Bad relationships result in or cause domestic violence.

Truth:     Violence is a learned behavior where the abuser believes there is a right to abuse. This behavior can also be unlearned in treatment if an abuser recognizes it as a problem and wants to change how to deal with the need to control and use of violence.

Myth:     Alcohol and drug use cause domestic violence.

Truth:     Many people use alcohol and drugs and are not violent. However, when these substances are used during a violence incident, injuries tend to be more serious and the police are more likely to be contacted for assistance.

Myth:        Stress causes domestic violence.

Truth:        Everyone has stress in his/her life. Abusers believe they have the right to “take out their stress” on their victim.

Myth:        “It takes two to tango.” Domestic abuse is often provoked.

Truth:        No one can make another person be violent. It is a choice made by the abuser.

Myth:        Men are not abused at the same frequency as woman.

Truth:        Federal studies show that women are the victims in over 90% of violent incidents between intimate partners.

Myth:        Batterers “just snap.”

Truth:        If being out of control caused the violence, there would be more homicides. Many batterers are so in control they make sure that injuries inflicted on their victim will be less visible parts of a victim body.

Myth:        Leaving an abusive relationship will ensure safety for a victim and their children.

Truth: When an abuser learns that a victim is leaving the relationship or has taken a step to stop the power and control (i.e. calling the police, getting a restraining order, filing for divorce) the risk of homicide or serious bodily harm to the victim and her children increases dramatically.

Myth:    No one would hit a pregnant woman especially not the father of the child.

Truth:   There is a very high incidence of battering during pregnancy. Many victims are physically battered for the first time during their pregnancies.

Myth:     Abuse to elders is not domestic violence.

Truth:    Many elders are physically or emotionally abused or financially exploited by family members or others who hide behind the excuse of the caregiver stress.

Myth:      Abuse in same sex relationship is mutual.

Truth:    Same sex domestic violence involves similar issues of power and control and the predominant aggressor analysis should be used.

Myth:       Domestic abuse is more prevalent and is condoned in the immigrant population.

Truth: Immigrant populations are not more violent than the general population. immigrant victims of domestic abuse may be afraid to report their abuse for fear of deportation of themselves, their children and their abusers.

Sexual Exploitation of Children

The words sexual exploitation evoke a number of reactions and feelings. Perhaps one of the most devastating is silence-our inability or unwillingness as a society to speak about this horrific problem. That same silence may also impact a child who has been sexually exploited. Children may be frightened or intimidated into not telling. They may feel they won’t be believed or what happened is their fault. All of these feelings may cause them to hide their pain. The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children has posted these steps for families:

What families can do: 

• Listen to your children
• Pay attention if they do not want to go with someone or someplace
• Take the time to talk with your children
• Notice when someone shows one or all of your children a great deal of attention or giving them gifts
• Teach your children they have the right to say No to any touch or actions by others that makes them feel scared, uncomfortable or confused. Teach them to immediately tell you if this happens
• Be sensitive to any changes in your children’s behavior or attitude
• Look and listen to small cues because children are not always comfortable disclosing disturbing events or feelings
• If your children do confide-strive to remain calm-noncritical and nonjudgmental. Listen and work with them to get the help they need
• Screen babysitters and caregivers.
• Check the public registry for prior criminal records or sexual offenses
• Check references and drop in unexpectedly on your care givers
• Provide oversight and supervision of computer usage and establish rules and guidelines.
• Be an active participant in children activities and observe other adult interaction
• Work with your children’s school to develop sound child-safety programs

Practice basic safety skills with your children and discuss these openly and honestly

What schools can do:

• Make sure teacher, volunteers and anyone else that has access to children is properly screened and trained
• Implement/enforce policies for reporting child abuse
• Establish protocols and screening for school computer use-train teachers/staff protocols
• Choose or develop child-safety programs for the school that are based on accepted educational theories that are appropriate for the age/educational level/ developmental abilities; design these to build self-confidence in order to better handle and protect themselves in all types of situations.
• Assess your environmental  structure and provide adequate supervision
• Provide education and information to students to easily access help.
• Provide programs to educate and inform community/parents and transporters methods of response

What communities can do:

• Notify the public of the sex-offender registry provide a community notification requirement
• Raise awareness with seminars
• Hold public meetings  establish computer awareness and  trainings on networking community responses
• Assess your environmental structures
• Mobilize child serving groups as watch and monitoring groups
• Assess your local law enforcement for immediate responses for child abduction

Definition of Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence is defined as a pattern of coercive control characterized by the use of physical, sexual and psychologically abusive behaviors. Additionally, coercion of domestic violences victim may be achieved through behaviors directed toward children, property, pets or others. Violence or the threat of violence toward one’s children is often a powerful means of coercing the battered woman/male. Prior physical or sexual violence toward the battered woman/male, or knowledge of such behaviors on the part of the batterer, enhances the coercive property of the batterer subsequent psychological or emotionally abusive behaviors. For example, intimidating gestures or comments acquire a very singular meaning when the batterer has shown willingness to actually harm his/her partner. Recognizing the variety of coercive behaviors used by the batterer to exert control over his/her partner helps accurately characterize the relationship context within which a battered male/female behavior is considered by the fact finder.

The cycle of violence (female)

Abuse is neither constant nor random 3 phases very in time and intensity. Phases tend to occur with increasing frequency and increasing severity if cycle is not broken.

Phase I

-becomes nurturing, compliant, will stay out of his way

-accepts the abuse as being direct against her, she doesn’t believe that what she does can prevent his anger from escalating

Denial

-provides a sense of safety-deny anger

-rationalizes that perhaps she deserves it or it could be worse

-blames external factors, work, alcohol

-denies that escalation will occur

-deny increase of battering

-Believes she has control

-attempts to alter his behavior as a way of providing safety

Phase II

-in long term battering, she may try to bring on an incident not stopping it, expecting it, and skills to control the severity

-anxious, depressed, sleepless, over/under eating, fatigue, tension, headaches, an option is hiding

-senses futility to trying to “resist’ further battering

-does not seek help unless severely injured

Phase III Honeymoon

-victimization is complete, woman sees his depression as extreme need for her as deep love

-she feels responsible for what happened, she believes in the permanency of her relationship and believes it is her responsibility to keep it together, is an easy prey for guilt

-she believes if she stays he’ll get help

-she wants to believe she will no longer have to suffer abuse, fantasizes on how wonderful it will be, that this is what her man is really like

-her self esteem is shattered, she needs to believe she is needed or wanted

Early warning signs of domestic violence

People often wonder if there are any signs that might warn about the potential for violence in a relationship. The following is adopted from material pushed by the National Technical Assistance Center on Family Violence.

1. Did your partner grow up in a violent family? Some people, especially males, who grew up in violent homes are more at risk for using violence when faced with a problem. Society also teaches us that certain forms of violence are expected and accepted from males (e.g. boxing, football, “boys will be boys”). This is to such an extent that all men must accept some level of violence or their masculinity is questioned.

2. Does your partner tend to use force or violence to “solve problems? Does your partner have a quick temper? Does your partner overreact to little problems of frustrations, like not finding a parking space or having a bad seat at the movies? Does our partner punch walls or things when upset? Cruelty to animals is a common behavior of people who are cruel to people.

3. Does he/she have a negative self image?

4. Does your partner have strong ideas about the role of men and women? Does he think women should stay home, take care of their partners and follow their wishes?

5. Is your partner jealous of you, your friends and family? Does your partner keep tabs on you? Does he/she want you to go with even if it is an inconvenience?

6. Does your partner threaten to use weapons against people or threaten to use them to get even?

7. Does your partner experience extreme highs and lows? Very kind in one instance and then very cruel in other instances?

8. When your partner gets angry do you fear him/her? Do you find that most of your energy goes into not making your partner angry?

Wisconsin 2002, 42 lives gone forever….

1/06/02-female shot to death by boyfriend/ 34 years old Fond du lac, WI

1/08/02-female shot twice in the head by her husband/34 years old Saukeville, WI

1/11/02-male shot in the head while beating his girlfriend/32 years old Milwaukee, WI

1/23/02-male bludgeoned by new girlfriends estranged husband/ 29 years old Milwaukee, WI

2/01/02-2 females shot and killed by ex-boyfriend/ 21 years  old and 18 years old Wausau, WI

2/04/02-female shot in the back of her head by her husband/57 years old Medford, WI

2/06/02-male stabbed to death by step son for beating his mother/34 years old, Appleton, WI

3/05/02-female shot to death by her husband/46 years old Mayville,WI

3/08/02-2 females shot rand0om acts/age 36 & age 19 Milwaukee, Wi

3/26/02-male shot to death by girlfriend/45 years old Arkdale, WI

3/30/02-female shot in the head by her children’s father all four children were witnesses/Milwaukee,WI

4/06/02-female stabbed to death by her boyfriend while 3 year old watched from closet/24 years old Altoona, WI

4/11/02-female shot to death by her ex-boyfriend/30 years old Chippewa Falls, WI

6/03/02-male stabbed to death by ex-girlfriend/38 years old Milwaukee, WI

6/17/02-female throat cut strangled raped/17 years old Shawano, WI

6/18/02-male by machine while parents were fighting/8 years old Kenosha, WI

7/04/02-female stabbed to death by ex-boyfriend/38 years old Milwaukee, WI

7/20/02-male stabbed to death by ex-girlfriend/37 years old Milwaukee, WI

7/23/02-female beaten to death by boyfriend/49 years old Milwaukee, WI

8/02/02-male stabbed to death by girlfriend during a fight/40 years old Glendale, WI

8/06/02-male stabbed during an argument with girlfriend/22 years old Madison, WI

8/06/02-female shot twice in the head by her husband/80 years old Manitowac, WI

8/18/02-female shot 6 times by her boyfriend/20 years old Milwaukee, WI

8/31/02-female shot to death by her husband/81 years old Kenosha, WI

9/01/02-female bludgeoned and strangled by partner/27 years old Sparta, WI

9/10/02-female head slammed and crushed into concrete by her child’s father/27 years old  Milwaukee, WI

9/12/02-female & male both shot to death by ex-husband/34 years old & 37 years old Town of Lake, WI

9/17/02-female beaten to death head crushed by boyfriend/46 years old Mondovi, WI

10/07/02-female shot raped and left in cornfield by her boyfriend/33 years old Madison, WI

10/25/02-male shot in the head by ex-wife’s new husband/42 years old Downsville, WI

11/05/02-female run over and left to die under the car by her boyfriend/29 years old Milwaukee, WI

11/11/02-female shot and killed by partners brother/hate crime/36 years old Milwaukee, WI

11/17/02-female died of acute asthma attack while her mother was being beaten to death by her father/14 years old Janesville, WI

11/28/02-female beat with mallet strangled and raped by boyfriend/22 years old Milwaukee, WI

12/13/02-male beat to death by daughter in-law/70 years old Milwaukee, WI

12/24/02-male stabbed by girlfriend/54 years old Greenfeild, WI

Domestic Violence Facts

Behind closed doors our families are being torn apart by violence. The privacy that protects the family also hides the pain, suffering and terror of violence against women.

* Every 18 seconds, somewhere is the U.S.A. a woman is beaten, according to the FBI. With every passing minute, 3 more woman are beaten.

* 30 % of women who are murdered die at the hands of husbands or lovers. (1982 FBI study).

* 25 % of suicide attempts by women are related to battering (Stark and Flitcraft, “Domestic Violence and Female Suicide”).

* 50 % of all injuries presented by women in emergency rooms are the result of abuse: 21 % of all women who use emergency services are battered.

* 50 % of men who batter their partners also abuse their children (Lenore Walker, The Battered Women Syndrome, 1984).

* 80 % of abusers experienced or witnessed abuse while they were growing up (Walker, 1984).

* There are 660 battered women for each available shelter space in Wisconsin.

Domestic violence effects us all. It’s not a shame, it’s a crime. We all have a responsibility to find our own ways of helping to build better non-violent communities.