Elder Abuse it Can Happen To Anyone

Elder Abuse
Hitting
Taking Money
Isolating
Unwanted Touching
Neglecting
About 4,000 cases of elder abuse are reported each year in Wisconsin
YOU CAN HELP
Even though being abused is never the elder’s fault, he or she might feel ashamed, trapped or all alone. But you can help. If you believe that someone you know is being abused, read through the following questions.
If you answer “yes” to any of them, call your county elder abuse help-line.
MOST ABUSERS ARE SPOUSES, CHILDREN OR OTHER RELATIVES.
The are many types of abuse.
The most obvious is physical abuse. But there are other types that fon’t involve any physical violence, such as verbal or emotional abuse, financial exploitation, sexual assault or neglect.
REMEMBER, JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE DOESN’T HIT DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE NOT ABUSIVE.
Hurting Someone is Never a Sign of Caring.
Do you know a friend or relative age 60 or older who is taken advantage of or hurt by a family member or caregiver?
No one deserves this treatment. And no matter what reason an abuser gives for his or her behavior, it’s not done out of love. It’s elder abuse, and it won’t just go away.
PHYSICAL ABUSE
Does your friend or relative get:
shoved or shaken?
drugged or starved?
hit, kicked or physically hurt in any way?
EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Is your friend or relative:
isolated from family and friends?
verbally assalted, threatened or harassed?
treated like an infant or given the silent treatment?
FINANCIAL EXPLOITATION
Is a family member, caregiver, friend or neighbor:
taking money or possessions belonging to your friend or relative?
forcing or tricking your friend or relative into signing any documents (e.g., Power of Attorney, contracts, will)?
If you think an older person is being financially exploited, don’t feel guilty about asking a professional to look into it. You are not being nosy. You are watching out for him or her and showing that you care.
SEXUAL ABUSE
Is your friend or relative being touched inappropriately or forced to perform or watch sexual acts?
NEGLECT
Does a family member or caregiver refuse to provide food, water, clothing, shelter, personal hygiene, medicine or other life essentials?
SELF NEGLECT
Is your friend or relative unable or unwilling to eat, dress, bathe, take medications, or keep his or her home clean and liveable?
Self neglect is considered elder abuse because the elder is threatening his or her own health and safety.
It’s not a family problem it’s abuse.
ONE PHONE CALL CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING
IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS BEING ABUSED, CALL YOUR COUNTY ELDER ABUSE HELP LINE. YOUR IDENTITY IS KEPT CONFIDENTIAL BY LAW. WHEN YOU CALL, YOU’LL BE ASKED WHAT HAPPENED, WHEN AND WHERE THE ABUSE OCCURRED, AND THE NAME OF THE SUSPECTED ABUSER.
Elder abuse doesn’t have to be abuse that begins after age 60. It can be domestic violence that has been happening for years.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SOMEONE MAKES A REPORT?
Each Wisconsin county has a professional people who know how to help, and the authorities offer better protection than ever before. There are many ways they can reduce the danger-from police interventions to financial support or transportation to a safe place. There are also ways they can help make things better, including home repairs, meals, social connections and legal assistance.
EVERYONE DESERVES A SAFE ENVIROMENT
Abuse doesn’t belong in a caring relationship, and one person can’t fix this complicated problem alone. But one phone call can reach a network of caring professionals who are ready to help. No matter how long a person has been abused, it’s not too late to stop the hurt and harm. Remember, elder abuse can happen to anyone, but you can take a stand against it.
If you are unable to call your county elder abuse help-line under the blogroll link e-mail them at stopabuse@dhfs.state.wi.us or contact Wisconsin Bureau of Aging and Disability Resources at (608)-266-2536.

Medicine Men Who Are Sexual Offenders

Recently, I was reading a web forum where a question was presented from a Tribal Victim Advocacy Network. The question was “What do we do if a Medicine Men is sexually assaulting in ceremonies?”
I would like to respond to that in this forum.
If you are an advocate for victims of crime, the VICTIM comes first. If it is a recognized Medicine Man with in your Tribal Community, he must be prosecuted…..to the fullest extent of the law. He is not a Medicine Man he is a PREDATOR!
IT IS IMPORTANT THAT TRIBES RECOGNIZE AND ACKNOWLEDGE THIS.
Our ceremonies are to sacred to continue to allow these perverts the credit they do not deserve.

Re: Witnessing Domestic Violence Search….

What to do?

First and most importantly…..call the police.
File a police report of what you’ve witnessed.
Dial 911 !
Be proactive……STOP THE VIOLENCE!
YOU MAY BE SAVING A LIFE OR MORE.

Drawing the Wisdom from the Past

The FCC Process
TOP
Abstract
The Project
The FCC Intervention
The FCC Process
Progress to Date
References

Although the family meeting represents the most visible component of the FCC, the intervention involves other stages that often are more important than the actual meeting. The FCC has six stages: referral, screening, engaging the family, logistical preparation, family meeting, and follow-up.

Referral
Referrals come from a variety of sources, including the Elder Protection program, Community Health Representative program, Housing Authority program, Domestic Violence program, Tribal court, Child Protection program, community members, and concerned family members. The majority of referrals are made because of concerns about exploitation, neglect, self-neglect, and child neglect. Many times referrals are related to the addiction of a family member who lives in the elder’s home, exploits the elder’s monthly income, or leaves young children in the care of a frail elder. Although some referrals are related to physical abuse, these are limited. In part this pattern may reflect the screening procedures, through which some referrals are deemed inappropriate.

Timeliness of response to referrals is an important concern. To address this concern, facilitators, along with the research team, developed guidelines that include making initial contact with family members within 3 to 5 days of referral receipt. Depending on the family’s schedule, but within 5 working days, the facilitator determines a tentative date for the family meeting. The facilitator, although cautious to maintain confidentiality, also notifies the referring person or agency that she has begun to work with the family. This helps maintain the credibility of the FCC project in the community.

Screening
Some referrals are inappropriate for the FCC intervention. These involve families who have a high potential for violence. These situations are referred to the Elder Protection program for further evaluation and action. Over the course of this project, facilitators have developed a strong working relationship with the Elder Protection program.

Engaging the Family
The pre-meeting preparation stage is crucial to the success of the FCC. At the beginning of this stage, it is important to have the family identify a primary contact. This person, who may or may not be related by blood, is someone trusted by the family and the elder. The primary contact is familiar with the family’s dynamics, and knows how to work within these dynamics. During this stage, the facilitator contacts family members and family-nominated service providers and invites them to participate in the FCC. Although they are careful to honor the wishes of the family when inviting participants, the facilitators at times sensitively inquire about family members whom they have not invited. In some instances, this provides the opportunity for the family to reconsider its decision.

The facilitator gives a verbal explanation and provides a descriptive brochure about the FCC to each nominated person. The facilitator emphasizes that the meeting will be a safe place for family members to gather to discuss their concerns. During the engagement stage, the facilitator helps to focus each family member’s attention on the concern at hand: the elder’s well-being and safety. This stage is complex, requiring communication skills that are nonjudgmental and sometimes therapeutic, including engaging, listening, encouraging, and giving information. Often a family member must address a multitude of feelings (such as stress, resentment, grief, shame, and anger) before he or she is able to commit to attending the FCC.

Many of the reservations in the Northwest are in rural areas, which can make contacting people difficult. Geographical distances necessitate traveling over back country roads, and severe weather may cause meetings to be rescheduled. Additionally, not all families have telephones; in such instances, the facilitator requests that another invited family member ask for that person to contact her.

Given the sensitive nature of the topic, face-to-face meetings between the family members and facilitator are preferred. This method of meeting allows for the development of trust and rapport and the expression of gentle caring. Yet it is important to consider geographically distant family members. When geographical distance precludes a family member’s attendance at the meeting, the facilitator brings his or her concerns to the meeting. Some distant family members choose to participate via a conference phone call.

Additional strategies ensure privacy during this stage. When facilitators attempt to make contact by phone, they are cognizant about not leaving messages that might violate confidentiality. Similarly, when meeting an individual family member face-to-face, facilitators find it is sometimes important to meet outside of the house, where other family members or visitors cannot hear what is being said.

Because of the small size of the communities, it is important to pay attention to relationships between the facilitator and some of the families who have been referred. To date, the project has addressed this by having more than one facilitator who can work with a family in which there are no close relatives or alliances. Community norms and status differentials and their effect on the facilitator–family-member relationships are important additional considerations. For example, a community norm is for younger people to show respect to elders. Although facilitators are middle-aged and older women who are accustomed to working with people in a helping relationship, there have been situations in which expectations related to the elder–younger role have been intimidating to facilitators who were slated to work with Tribal members older than themselves. In other cases, facilitators have been reluctant to intervene in families with prominent community members. In such situations, the monthly facilitator group meetings are helpful for discussing sensitive strategies for approaching these families.

Logistical Preparation
Once the facilitator has contacted all nominated family members, service providers, and other community members (as requested by the family), she determines a mutually agreeable meeting time. The facilitator sends each prospective participant a letter summarizing the purpose of the meeting and identifying the date, time, and meeting place. On the day prior to the meeting, the facilitator calls those family members who can be reached by telephone to remind them of the meeting and to check that they are still able to attend.

Sensitivity to the venue for the family meeting is also important. Some families prefer to have the meeting in their homes; others prefer to have it at a neutral, but private, place (often in a conference room at one of the agency offices). Because gracious hospitality is a strong community norm, the meetings usually involve the sharing of food. The facilitator prepares a few trays of healthy snacks ahead of time in accordance with any dietary restrictions family members may have. In keeping with the norm of sharing, family participants take home any remaining food.

Creation of a safe, inviting, and private space is important. In situations in which not all participants share proficiency in both the Native and English languages, it is necessary to have an interpreter. In these circumstances family members choose a person whom they feel is unbiased and whom they trust. Confidentiality remains crucial, particularly in a small community. It is important to think about maintaining privacy by drawing conference room window shades for meetings held in the late evening. Participants must take into consideration solutions to barriers to participation (such as making arrangements for child care or transportation, joining via conference calls, or sending letters) prior to the meeting. Because the length of the meeting may range from 2 to 5 hr, it is important to plan for breaks so people can move about, stretch, and use the facilities.

Family Meeting
The family meeting has the following components: beginning, information sharing, development of a plan, and closing.

Beginning
As people arrive, the facilitator acknowledges and greets everyone, often with a warm handshake or a hug. The agenda for the family meeting begins with a formal welcome, during which the facilitator thanks the family for coming together and for allowing the facilitator to be a part of its meeting. This recognizes the emotional vulnerability that some family members may experience in coming together to discuss sensitive aspects of their family. The meeting opens with a prayer offered by a chosen family member (such as an elder or the oldest participant) or a spiritual leader (if the family has invited one to attend the meeting). If needed, introductions are made and each participant explains his or her relationship to the elder. The facilitator then reviews the FCC format, briefly identifying the purpose of the meeting and describing her own role. At this time, the facilitator reminds people that the sharing of their stories will be held sacred. The group spends some time establishing group norms (e.g., one person speaks at a time; show respect for all; conflict without hostility can be good; no question is wrong; no side conversations; be considerate of confidentiality; and recognize the “spirit of intent,” i.e., the positive intentions of others). The facilitator writes these on a flipchart and posts them in the room. The facilitator orients people to the room and the facility and invites them to partake of the food.

Information Sharing
During this portion of the meeting, the people present identify their concerns. The facilitator reads letters from family members who, although unable to attend the meeting, would like to participate. The facilitator records all concerns on the flipchart and posts the pages in a prominent place in the room. Throughout this stage, the facilitator is careful to point out family strengths she has learned about through the process of engaging the family members. Because facilitators are from the communities, they are aware of the norm against self-promotion and recognize that family members may be hesitant to identify their strengths.

Development of a Plan
The family has the option of asking the facilitator and all other people who are not members of the family to leave the room so it may develop a plan in private. Prior to leaving the room, the facilitator reminds the family to choose a recorder from among the people present. If the facilitator leaves the room, she should not leave the facility in case the family has questions or would like to make use of her mediation skills. In this case, the facilitator should make periodic checks on the family members to see if they have any questions or needs. In our experience, families rarely request this private time, possibly because they developed a trusting rapport with the facilitator during the engagement phase.

When the family has developed its plan, the facilitator and service providers return to the room to help the family with the logistics related to implementing the plan. For example, this may include identifying resources that are available to family members, developing a timeline for the various parts of the plan, and identifying which family member will be responsible for each part of the plan. The facilitator makes a record of the plan that she will include in a letter to each family member in the week following the FCC. If the family has indicated they would like a follow-up meeting, the facilitator notes the date and time of this meeting in the letter.

Closing
At the end of each meeting, the facilitator asks for an evaluation of the entire FCC intervention. Using the format of “likes and wishes,” the facilitator asks what it was that people liked about the process and what they wish could have been done differently. The facilitator makes it known that wishes are as readily appreciated as likes. The facilitator records both on the flipchart. We had originally developed a written survey for FCC participants to complete immediately following the meeting; however, asking the more open-ended likes-and-wishes question elicits a wider variety of (and more descriptive) responses. Additionally, doing the likes and wishes as a group provides time for a shared family debriefing.

Follow-Up
The follow-up portion of the FCC is dependent on family needs and desires. Follow-up is not case management; however, at times the facilitator agrees to implement a part of the family’s plan, such as contacting a social service provider to arrange for a needed service. The facilitator carries through on this agreement and then makes certain the service is meeting the needs of the family. Follow-up meetings may be arranged when members of the family wish to meet together with a service provider (e.g., families might meet with people from housing to arrange a plan for complying with housing rules that will protect the elder while also finding suitable shelter for an addicted family member). Families may also schedule a date to get together to discuss how the plan is working and to modify it if necessary. Additionally, when family situations change, some families may reopen cases that have been closed, by requesting a second family meeting. Follow-up can provide the opportunity for positive encouragement. It is important to highlight the incremental progress that the family has made. Although family members may not have met their goals in their entirety, often they have taken steps toward their achievement. Or it may be that the family implemented an action that did not work. That, too, is progress with regard to both intent of good will and knowledge that something else must be tried.

Because Knowledge is Power

If you need information on domestic violence, step by step procedures on filing restraining orders or injunctions or need forms to print out for your State just click on WomensLaw.org. under the blogroll.

Sensitivity To Victim Needs

As proffessional, it is our responsibility to suspend judgement regardless of the circimstance. Treat each victim with respect and acknowledge the courage and strengths they have exhibited for reporting and seeking our services.

Sexual assault victims experience varying degrees of psychological trauma. An individual’s perception of how a sexual assault victim should look, dress or act, and the way those perceptions are conveyed can have significant effect upon the victim’s recovery process in the weeks and months following the crime. Each person has his or her method of coping with sudden stress. When severly traumatized, victims can appear calm, indifferent, submissive, angry, or even uncooperative and hostile toward those who are trying to help. Misinterpretations of a victim’s reaction to their assault may lead to further trauma and hinder the interview, evidence collection or legal proceedings.

Listed below are some of the feelings that may be felt by victims:

• Fear of offender
• Fear of what family and friends might think
• Fear of others finding out
• Guilt and feelings that she or he is responsible for the assault
• Sense of vulnerability and general fear of people
• Loss of control over her or his own life
• Embarrassment
• Anxiety
• Concern for the offender’s well being, especially in cases of acquaintance or spousal rape
• Shame-loss of self respect
• Stupidity or foolishness
• Anger
• Confusion
• Sexual Assault Crisis line (920) 436 8899 24 hours

Teenagers Check This Out!

Quiz Your Relationship

• Does your boyfriend/girlfriend have a bad temper? Do they take their anger out on pets and objects….punching walls, slamming doors,throwing things or hurting animals? Ask yourself….How do I feel when my partner is acting this way? If it is fear that you feel then it is with out a doubt not love.
• Is he/she always asking you where you went, who you were with, what your were doing, what you were talking about? Ask yourself…. How do I feel when my partner is acting this way? If it is humiliation that you feel then it is with out a doubt not love.
• Does he/she use alcohol or drugs? Ask yourself…. How do I feel when my partner is acting this way? If it is insecurity that you feel then it is with out a doubt not love.
• Is he/she telling you that you don’t know anything and that they know better than you? Ask yourself…. How do I feel when my partner is acting this way? If it is inadequacy that you feel then it is with out a doubt not love.
• Is he/she telling you that they want total commitment from you unusually early on in the relationship and planning marriage along comes baby? Ask your self….How do I feel when my partner is acting this way? If it is confusion that you feel then it is with out a doubt not love.
  
• Is he/she telling you to do things that you know in your head and heart are wrong? Does he/she encourage you to lie, disobey, and disregard your parents/family? Ask yourself…. How do I feel when my partner is acting this way? If it is shame that you feel then it is with out a doubt not love.
• Does he/she disregard you when you say “NO” and force you to have sex?…. Ask yourself…. How do I feel when my partner is acting this way? If is all the feeling above then it is with out a doubt not love.
  

Wisconsin Help Lines

Oakwood Haven (LCO)

Domestic & Sexual Abuse Shelter

(715) 634-9360

Crisis Line

1-877-552-7474

Sawyer County Sexual Assault Advocate

Hayward WI

(715) 638-3451

CASDA Crisis Line Abuse Center

1-800-649-2921

Time Our Family Abuse

1-800-924-0556

Ladysmith, WI

(715) 532-7089

New Day Shelter

1-800-924-4132

Ashland

(715) 682-9565

Native American

1-800-236-7660

WI State Wide Shelter

(715) 588-7660

WI Coalition Against Domestic Violence

(608) 255-0539

WI Coalition Against Sexual Assault

(608) 257-1516

Stevens Point

1-800-472-3377

River Falls

1-800-338-2882

Monroe

1-800-836-9788

Milltown

1-800-261-7233

Bolton Refuge/Eau Claire

1-800-252-4357

Chippewa Falls

1-800-400-7020

People Against Violence/Beaver Dam

1-800-775-3785

Hopehouse

1-800-584-6794

 

 

 

Power and Control and the Law

Wisconsin State Statutes

Crimes of Physical Violence

940.19(1)-(6) Battery-Simple, Substantial, Aggravated

939.32(1)&(3) Attempted Battery

940.20(1m) Battery to Person Subject to restraining order or Tribal Order

940.21 Mayhem

940.23 Reckless injury

940.24 Injure by Negligent Handling Dangerous Weapon

Crimes of Sexual Violence

940.225(1) First degree sexual assault

940.225(2) Second Degree Sexual Assault

940.225(3) Third Degree Sexual Assault

940.225(3m) Fourth Degree Sexual Assault

Using Coercion & Threats

943.30 Threats to injure or accuse of crime

940.42-45 Intimidation of Victim/Witness

941.23 Carrying Concealed Weapon

946.31 & 939.30 Solicitation to Commit Perjury

Using Intimidation

940.32 Stalking

940.42-45 Intimidation of Victim/Witness

943.14 Criminal tresspass to Dwelling

947.013 Harrassment

941.24 Possession of Switchblade Knife

Using Emotional Abuse

941.30 Recklessly Endangering Safety

943.01 Damage of Property

947.013 Harassment

951.02 Mistreating Animals

Using Isolation

940.30 False Imprisonment

940.305 Taking Hostage

940.31 Kidnapping

943.14 Criminal Trespass to Dwelling

942.05 opening Letters

Minimizing Denying & Blaming

946.41 Resisting or Obstructing an Officer

947.01 Disorderly Conduct

Using Children

940.31 Kidnapping

940.32 Stalking

Ch.948 Crimes Against Children

948.31 Interference with Custody

Using Male Privilege

941.01 Negligent Operation of Vehicle

941.20 Endangering Safety by Use of Dangerous Weapon

931.30 Recklessly Endangering Safety

943.01 Criminal Damage of Property

Using Economic Abuse

943.20 Theft

943.38  Forgery

943.02 Arson

943.10 Burglary

943.32 Robbery

943.39(2) Fraudulent Writings

940.285 Abuse to Vulnerable Adult

The following crimes might fit any of the behaviors listed on the wheel:

Chapter 813 Violation of a restraining order, including foreign orders of protection

939.05 Parties to Crime

939.24 Criminal Recklessness

939.25 Criminal Negligence

939.30 Solicitation

939.31 Conspiracy

939.32 Attempting Crimes

939.46 Coercion

946.49 Bail Jumping

947.01 Disorderly Conduct

940.42-45 Intimidation of Victim/Witness

940.31 Stalking

947.013 Harassment

947.012 Unlawful Use of Telephone

947.0125 Unlawful use of Computerized Communication System

940.285 Abuse of Vulnerable Adult

943.30 Threats to Injure

 

Escalating of Violence

verbal abuse

l

throwing things, punching walls

l

pushing, shoving, grabbing, throwing things at the victim

l

slapping with open hand

l

kicking, biting

l

hitting with closed fist

l

attempted strangulation

l

beating up-pin to the wall, floor, repeated kicks, multiple punches

l

threats with a weapon

l

assaults with a weapon

Many abusers do not use violence until other forms of control have failed. If law enforcement is called to the scene of an attempted strangulation it is probable that most of the lessor acts have occurred in prior incidents whether reported or not.