Thunder Bird House

Entries categorized as ‘Power and Control’

Searcher “Do abusers love their victims?”

April 4, 2009 · Leave a Comment

This is my response to the searcher who ask the above.
Abusers are MASTERS of deception,
“All deception in the course of life is indeed nothing else but a lie reduced to practice, and falsehood passing from words into things.”
Author: Robert Southey, manipulation, “For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night.”
Author: William Shakespeare, and the only love they feel is for themselves and their property.
HOW CAN YOU LOVE THE THING YOU COVET AND AT THE SAME TIME BEGRUDGE THEIR HUMANITY?
What do I mean by humanity…..the gifts bestowed you by your creator….your gift of sight that views beauty in another human being or creation, the gift of touch that makes you spontaneously reach out to touch another human being, the gift of scent or the gift of sound. He/she is with out fault but you may have many, it is human to have fault is it not?

THE DEFINITION OF LOVE.
by Andrew Marvell

I.
MY Love is of a birth as rare
As ’tis, for object, strange and high ;
It was begotten by Despair,
Upon Impossibility.

II.
Magnanimous Despair alone
Could show me so divine a thing,
Where feeble hope could ne’er have flown,
But vainly flapped its tinsel wing.

III.
And yet I quickly might arrive
Where my extended soul is fixed ;
But Fate does iron wedges drive,
And always crowds itself betwixt.

IV.
For Fate with jealous eye does see
Two perfect loves, nor lets them close ;
Their union would her ruin be,
And her tyrannic power depose.

V.
And therefore her decrees of steel
Us as the distant poles have placed,
(Though Love’s whole world on us doth wheel),
Not by themselves to be embraced,

VI.
Unless the giddy heaven fall,
And earth some new convulsion tear.
And, us to join, the world should all
Be cramp’d into a planisphere.

VII.
As lines, so love’s oblique, may well
Themselves in every angle greet :
But ours, so truly parallel,
Though infinite, can never meet.

VIII.
Therefore the love which us doth bind,
But Fate so enviously debars,
Is the conjunction of the mind,
And opposition of the stars.

Source:
Marvell, Andrew. The Poems of Andrew Marvell.
G. A. Aitken, Ed. London: Lawrence & Bullen, 1892. 73-74.

PROPERTY HAS NO HUMAN VALUE!

This is an interesting quote it is uncanny that most abusers deny that they are abusive.
“It is twice the pleasure to deceive the deceiver.”
Author: Jean De La Fontaine

Categories: A plea for help · Domestic Violence · Female Victim · Indian Country · Male Victim · Power and Control

Predictors of a Batterer with the potential to be a Murderer

March 13, 2009 · Leave a Comment

The most prominent lethality assessment was crafted by Jacquelyn Cambell of Johns Hopkins University. It relies on a 2003 study that compared hundreds of homicides committed by an intimate partner to hundreds of abuse cases where the victim lived.
1. The physical violence increases in severity or frequency over the last year.
2. The victim has broken up with the offender after living together during the last year.
3. The offender is unemployed.
4. The offender has threatened to kill.
5. The offender has used a weapon against the victim, or threatened the victim with a weapon.
6. The victim has a child who is not the offender’s.
7. The offender has forced the victim to have sex.
8. The offender has tried to choke (strangle) the victim.
Rugala, an FBI profiler turned consultants says, “It’s not an exact science but their are behaviors that can help predict homicide.”

Categories: Domestic Violence · Domestic Violence and Guns · Indian Country · Power and Control · Strangulations · sexual assault

When Teen Dating Turns Violent

February 22, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Chicago Tribune
Friday February 20,2008
By Megan Twohey and Bonnie Miller Rubin

1 in 10 teens suffer abuse in romantic relationships, and many think it’s often justified.
Two of three programs created by the federal Violence Against Women Act in 2005 to address teen dating violence were never funded.
“This incident has brought the issue into sharp focus.” said Esta Solar president of the California based Family Violence Prevention Fund. “This type of education is not happening in any broad or consistent way. We need to take it to a scale, to make sure it’s happening in every community.”

Warning Signs Sources of Help
Signs of an abusive relationship
1. Your boyfriend or girlfriend: hits, slaps,pushes or kicks you.
2.Controls where you go, what you wear and what you do.
3.Tries to stop you from seeing or talking to family of friends.
4. Calls you derogatory names.
5. Sends repeated text messages.
6. Forces you to do something sexual when you don’t want to.
Signs that your friend or child may be in an abusive relationship.
1. Apologizes for his or her behavior and/or makes excuses for them.
2. Frequently cancels plans at the last minute for reasons that sound untrue.
3. Seems worried about upsetting him or her and making them angry.
4. Giving up things that used to be important to him or her and becoming increasingly isolated.
5. Weight, appearance or grades have changed dramatically. These could be signs of depression, which could indicate abuse.
6. Injuries that he or she cannot explain, or the explanations given don’t make sense.

Categories: Boarding Schools · Domestic Violence · Indian Country · Power and Control · Schools · Teen Dating Violence · Uncategorized

Afraid of Charging Assault My Schoolmate!

December 7, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Fear is a method of power and control. Power and control is the issue. We all have to consider how serious the next assault will be. Is this person counting on your fear to let him/her off the hook?

What are the possiblities or consequenses of your not charging? Someone else could be a victim of a more serious assault…you may be the victim of this assault….Why….because your not doing anythig about it.

This is a school setting…right…think about all that was not done at Virginia Tech when Chloe was stalking and no one did anything!

You decide……

Categories: Domestic Violence · Female Victim · Power and Control · Teen Dating Violence · sexual assault

Because Knowledge is Power

September 4, 2008 · Leave a Comment

If you need information on domestic violence, step by step procedures on filing restraining orders or injunctions or need forms to print out for your State just click on WomensLaw.org. under the blogroll.

Categories: Abusive Statements · Advocate · Crisis Line · Domestic Violence · Domestic Violence and Guns · Elder Abuse · Federal Crimes and Penalties · Female Victim · Full Faith and Credit · Indian Country · Laws · Legal Advice · Male Victim · Power and Control · Safety Plan · Sex Offenders · Stalking · State Forms and instructions for filing Restraining Ord · Suicide · Teen Dating Violence · Tempoary restraining orders · VAWA · Victims Rights · Victims of Crime · sexual assault
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Power and Control and the Law

December 20, 2007 · Leave a Comment

Wisconsin State Statutes

Crimes of Physical Violence

940.19(1)-(6) Battery-Simple, Substantial, Aggravated

939.32(1)&(3) Attempted Battery

940.20(1m) Battery to Person Subject to restraining order or Tribal Order

940.21 Mayhem

940.23 Reckless injury

940.24 Injure by Negligent Handling Dangerous Weapon

Crimes of Sexual Violence

940.225(1) First degree sexual assault

940.225(2) Second Degree Sexual Assault

940.225(3) Third Degree Sexual Assault

940.225(3m) Fourth Degree Sexual Assault

Using Coercion & Threats

943.30 Threats to injure or accuse of crime

940.42-45 Intimidation of Victim/Witness

941.23 Carrying Concealed Weapon

946.31 & 939.30 Solicitation to Commit Perjury

Using Intimidation

940.32 Stalking

940.42-45 Intimidation of Victim/Witness

943.14 Criminal tresspass to Dwelling

947.013 Harrassment

941.24 Possession of Switchblade Knife

Using Emotional Abuse

941.30 Recklessly Endangering Safety

943.01 Damage of Property

947.013 Harassment

951.02 Mistreating Animals

Using Isolation

940.30 False Imprisonment

940.305 Taking Hostage

940.31 Kidnapping

943.14 Criminal Trespass to Dwelling

942.05 opening Letters

Minimizing Denying & Blaming

946.41 Resisting or Obstructing an Officer

947.01 Disorderly Conduct

Using Children

940.31 Kidnapping

940.32 Stalking

Ch.948 Crimes Against Children

948.31 Interference with Custody

Using Male Privilege

941.01 Negligent Operation of Vehicle

941.20 Endangering Safety by Use of Dangerous Weapon

931.30 Recklessly Endangering Safety

943.01 Criminal Damage of Property

Using Economic Abuse

943.20 Theft

943.38  Forgery

943.02 Arson

943.10 Burglary

943.32 Robbery

943.39(2) Fraudulent Writings

940.285 Abuse to Vulnerable Adult

The following crimes might fit any of the behaviors listed on the wheel:

Chapter 813 Violation of a restraining order, including foreign orders of protection

939.05 Parties to Crime

939.24 Criminal Recklessness

939.25 Criminal Negligence

939.30 Solicitation

939.31 Conspiracy

939.32 Attempting Crimes

939.46 Coercion

946.49 Bail Jumping

947.01 Disorderly Conduct

940.42-45 Intimidation of Victim/Witness

940.31 Stalking

947.013 Harassment

947.012 Unlawful Use of Telephone

947.0125 Unlawful use of Computerized Communication System

940.285 Abuse of Vulnerable Adult

943.30 Threats to Injure

 

Categories: Domestic Violence · Eighteen and Under · Elder Abuse · Laws · Male Victim · Myth and Truth · Power and Control · Tempoary restraining orders · Victims of Crime
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Power and Control

December 6, 2007 · Leave a Comment

Using Coercion -Threats-Cultural Abuse

  • Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her/him
  • Threatening to leave her/him
  • Threatening to commit suicide
  • Threatening to report her/him to welfare
  • Making her/him drop charges
  • Making her/him do illegal things
  • Making up traditions or culture to prove gender superiority
  • Using God to control someone

Using Intimidation

  • Using gestures, looks,or actions to make someone afraid
  • Smashing things
  • Destroying her/him property
  • Abusing pets
  • Displaying weapons

Using Emotional Abuse

  • Name calling
  •  Saying they/you are crazy
  •  Mind games
  •  Humiliation
  •  Making you feel guilty
  • Putting her/him down

Using Isolation

  • Putting limits on another persons freedom
  •  Limit outside contacts
  • Using jealousy to justify actions
  • Controlling where he/she goes
  • Controlling who he/she speaks to

Minimizing-Denying & Blame

  • Making light of the abuse
  • Blaming victim for problems
  • Not taking him/her concern about the abuse seriously
  • Saying the abuses didn’t happen
  • Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
  • Saying he/she caused it

Using Children

  • Making her/him feel guilty about children
  • Using the children to relay messages
  • Using visitation to harass him/her
  • Threatening to take the children away

Using Male Privilege

  • Treating her/him like a servant
  • Making all the big decisions
  • Acting like the “Master of The Castle”
  • Being the one to define gender roles

Using Economic Roles

  • Preventing her/him from getting and holding a job
  • Making him/her ask for money
  • Giving her/him an allowance
  • Taking her/him money
  • Not letting her/him know about or have access to finances

Categories: Power and Control
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