Power and Control

Using Coercion -Threats-Cultural Abuse

  • Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her/him
  • Threatening to leave her/him
  • Threatening to commit suicide
  • Threatening to report her/him to welfare
  • Making her/him drop charges
  • Making her/him do illegal things
  • Making up traditions or culture to prove gender superiority
  • Using God to control someone

Using Intimidation

  • Using gestures, looks,or actions to make someone afraid
  • Smashing things
  • Destroying her/him property
  • Abusing pets
  • Displaying weapons

Using Emotional Abuse

  • Name calling
  •  Saying they/you are crazy
  •  Mind games
  •  Humiliation
  •  Making you feel guilty
  • Putting her/him down

Using Isolation

  • Putting limits on another persons freedom
  •  Limit outside contacts
  • Using jealousy to justify actions
  • Controlling where he/she goes
  • Controlling who he/she speaks to

Minimizing-Denying & Blame

  • Making light of the abuse
  • Blaming victim for problems
  • Not taking him/her concern about the abuse seriously
  • Saying the abuses didn’t happen
  • Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
  • Saying he/she caused it

Using Children

  • Making her/him feel guilty about children
  • Using the children to relay messages
  • Using visitation to harass him/her
  • Threatening to take the children away

Using Male Privilege

  • Treating her/him like a servant
  • Making all the big decisions
  • Acting like the “Master of The Castle”
  • Being the one to define gender roles

Using Economic Roles

  • Preventing her/him from getting and holding a job
  • Making him/her ask for money
  • Giving her/him an allowance
  • Taking her/him money
  • Not letting her/him know about or have access to finances
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