Category Archives: Cyberbullying

Bullying isn’t always obvious in any circumstance or age.

Many of us think we know bullying when we see it but in adult situations it can fly below our perceptual radar.

I noticed a search” tired of being bullied at work” and recalled an article I read recently in the Milwaukee Journal on  May 19, 2009 a column by  Philip Chard. Mr. Chard has a website “I am a nature therapist (a psychotherapist who uses nature interaction to foster emotional healing), a newspaper columnist, book author, nature photographer, nationally acclaimed speaker and trainer, accomplished wilderness backpacker and Great Lakes sailor.” I will link this on the sidebar.

Mental maladies have many causes, but whenever I’m assessing someone who complains of depression, anxiety, self-destructive tendencies or out-of-control anger, I always include this question:

“Have you ever been bullied?”

This inquiry may conjure images of some ruffian or gang of miscreants pounding on a smaller kid, but bullies come in many guises and operate in a variety of venues, including the workplace and, increasingly, on the Internet.

Contrary to conventional wisdom, the majority of bullying is not physical. Rather, most of it involves slander, mockery, taunting, exclusion and other forms of verbal and interpersonal abuse. While most who bully physically are male, the mental variety is distributed fairly evenly between both genders.

Research has documented the wide ranging and grave psychological damage wreaked on the victims of bullying, particularly those who are chronically picked on while young. And these wounds do not easily heal, even with time. Teens and adults who were bullied as children are at a far greater risk for developing depression, anxiety disorders, suicidal impulses and even psychotic symptoms.

Many of us think we know bullying when we see it, but in adult situations it can fly below our perceptual radar. In the workplace, it is usually termed “harassment” or “hostile environment,” and its perpetrators often demonstrate sophistication and stealth in how they single out and torment others.

This can involve behaviors such as the silent treatment, ambiguously sarcastic remarks, innuendo, glaring and subtle insults packaged as humor. These so-called passive-aggressive tactics afford their user some degree of protection, meaning if the bully gets “called out,” he or she can deny sinister intent (“I was just joking” or “You misunderstood me”).

Not surprisingly, there is evidence that workplace bullying is on the rise, in part because of the increased stress of job insecurity and “doing less with more,” which can catalyze competition, conflict and jockeying for power and recognition. So even adults who were never bullied as children may find themselves in the same interpersonal fix as that proverbial kid on the playground beset by the local goon squad.

The considerable power of bullying to wound the human spirit stems from our desire to belong and be affirmed by others, which forms the foundation of self-esteem. While children are more needy and vulnerable in this regard than many adults, these needs are basic to the vast majority of humans of all ages. After all, we are social animals.

Some of us are more sensitive in this regard than others, but most individuals craft their self-image from the feedback they receive from their social group. Repeated negative input, combined with the learned helplessness that often accompanies being victimized, can create a lasting imprint that is difficult to erase.

But make no mistake, even if fists don’t fly, bullying is an act of violence.

Its wounds, while less visible than those from physical assault, are just as severe and often harder to heal.

Philip Chard is a psychotherapist, author and trainer. Names used in this column are changed to honor client confidentiality. E-mail him at pschard@earthlink.net or visit www.philipchard.com.

I hope this helps….some.

The Dark Side of the Internet and Cell Phones!

Report BY: Special Agent Eric Szatkowski
Wisconsin Department of Justice/Division of Criminal Investigation (DCI) since 1991.
Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force in Milwaukee. Eric’s law enforcement experience also includes murder-for-hire, cold-case homicides, death investigations, anti-government groups, fugitives, and narcotics enforcement.
CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG ERIC CAUSE I KNOW YOUR OUT THERE IN CYBER-SPACE WATCHING….
Oh Yes and Miigwitch (thank-You) for that!
Since 1998 there have been more than 680,000 tips about online exploitation and the majority of the tips have involved child pornography.
In Wisconsin alone 20,000 sites are identified porn sites and these sites are abusing our children and subjecting them to sexual predators and porn.

I watched him as he logged on to my space and went into a CHAT. Here he introduced himself as a child home from school and bored. WITHIN SECONDS HE HAD TWO CHAT BUDDIES QUESTIONING WITHIN A MINUTE THERE WERE FOUR …..WITHIN FOUR MINUTES THERE WERE TEN CHAT BUDDIES ASKING…….QUESTIONS!

In 2002, 22 Million images and more of child pornography were on the internet.
INNOCENCE IS LOST ON THE INTERNET
1-5 teens have sex by age 15
1-4 girls between the ages of 4-11 have sexually transmitted diseases.
20%-Caucasian
20%-Hispanic
50%-African American
No mention of Native American nor Alaskan Natives?
Statistically speaking Alaskan Native women have the highest rate of sexual assault in the United States.
Chat or Cell children and teens are exposed to predators, pornography and bribed into sexual contact and online sex chats.
Do you know the old saying “a photo speaks a thousand words”, well a photo on the internet like Myspace, Facebook, Bebo, Xanga, and Cell Phones, “A PHOTO IS FOREVER!”
Think about this girls and boys IF YOU SEND A FRIEND A PHOTO OF YOU THAT IS SEXUALLY INAPPROPRIATE AND THEN THE FRIEND DECIDES NOT TO BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE AND PASSES IT ON TO YOUR MOM AND DAD OR WORST YET POST IT ON THE WEB OR EVEN WORST YET PUTS UP IN THE MAIN ENTRANCE OF YOUR SCHOOL….OH OH OH OMG!
25% of youth being exposed sexually or sexually enticed become depressed.
19% of youth being exposed have a very expanded vocabulary.
Porn on the Pod….no not Corn on the Cob….Pornography uploaded on an I-Pod.
Sexting….no not Texting sexually charged to a cell phone pornographic pictures and cell phone exchange, ALL YOU NEED IS A CELL PHONE NUMBER TO DO THIS. All of you professionals out there, teachers, counselors, be wary of this!
(see sexting teen suicide under the blogroll)
Vermont is considering legalizing teen sexting.
IT’S ALL ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT!
In Wisconsin it’s a crime 15 years and younger.
On YouTube our youth are subject to tons of porn such as rape dance and all a kid has to do is spell words like Big Tits and boom there it is OMG!
Take a look at LiveLeak.com real nice photo’s of Beyonce’s Butt, Britneys oops!, and Miley Cyrus Sexy Photos….HOW OLD IS SHE?
Children and Teenagers on these sites are:
10-20 harassed or bullied online
1-3 unwanted exposure to sexually inappropriate content
1-7 receive sexual solicitation
1-7 sexual exploitation
1-33 aggressive solicitation
Parents while your sleeping there getting bribed with alcohol, money, games, tickets to the game to send photo’s and YES, some sneak out and meet these guys in your back yard. WHAT DO YOU THINK THESE GUYS ARE DOING WHILE CHATTING, SEXTING AND LOOKING AT YOUR CHILD’S PHOTO…. WITH THEIR FREE HAND?
Most often the photo’s these guy’s are putting up on their myspaces or sending on Bebo are not the actual photo of the guy.
My space banded by-law 90,000 sexual predators there are 40,000 more than that on the sex offender registry….!
Sex offenders, Perverts, Pedophiles get a free ride. WHY?…… money for corporations and site owners. Corporations solicit their wares on these websites.
What about Private Spaces?????
No….not private…..try it anyone can get in.
These spaces are like diaries….do you think they check your birth certificate when you login…no, youth…. kids, no pictures, no addresses, no time schedules. When you invite friends those friends have friends and so on and on we go….

SEXUALIZATION=VICTIMIZATION

X-Box Live, Ruinscape and all live games on the internet are subject to perverts pretending to be a player…BEWARE!

1/3 to 1/2 of Internet user’s are children or our Youth…..Who do you think are the rest?
Police
Perverts
Predators
Stalkers
Students
Parents
Recruiters
Employers
Teachers
Colleges
Kids and young people your friends are not the only people on your site!
Parents her are some FILTERS.
What do they do WATCH!
http://www.guardiansoftware.com
spectorsoft.com
They cost otherwise…..
No Internet on the cell phones or camera’s or unlimited texting
No computer’s in private area’s
No No No No using computer’s without supervision.
On the side bar I will add some sites to help and report cyber crime. I will also add a cyber language dictionary.

Cyber sex case stumps parents

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
By Erin Richards
2/6/09

Since Anthony Stancl former New Berlin Eisenhower High School student was charged Wednesday facing charges for using facebook to sexually assault peers.
Stancl, 18 was charged by Waukesha County district attorney Wednesday with posing as a female on facebook, a social networking site, persuading at least 31 teenage boys from Eisenhower to send him nude photos of themselves and the threaten to release those pictures to the public unless the victims agreed to perform sex acts with him.

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
by Jacqui Seibel
2/7/09
The Waukesha County district attorney said Friday that he hopes to prosecute without having to call victims on stand……”For child victims of sexual abuse, we have to find a way so they don’t have to relive this in the courtroom,” District Attorney Brad Schilmel said.
Authorities think there was more boys but no more have come forward, the boys ages were from age 13 to 19…..about 300 photo’s were found on Stencl’s computer.
PARENTS TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN!
GET CYBER SMART!
TEENAGERS GET CYBER SMART!
REPORT CYBER SEXUAL PREDATORS THE LINKS ARE UNDER THE BLOGROLL.
STOP SENDING NUDE PHOTO’S INTO CYBERSPACE.

Re: Witnessing Domestic Violence Search….

What to do?

First and most importantly…..call the police.
File a police report of what you’ve witnessed.
Dial 911 !
Be proactive……STOP THE VIOLENCE!
YOU MAY BE SAVING A LIFE OR MORE.

Report Cyberbullying and Online Sexual Predators

Smart moves

Following are tips from the National Assn. of School Psychologists on protecting your kids online, even if your own online skills lag behind theirs.

* Keep computers in easily viewable places, such as the family room or kitchen.

* Talk regularly with your children about the online activities in which they are involved and Internet etiquette in general. Children should know the rule that many adults have learned from painful experience: Do not say online what you would not say in person.

* Encourage children to be self-protective. Remind them that anything they say on the Internet or in phone text messages can be shared with others and misused. Ask them to consider if they want what they are saying and doing broadly disseminated. If not, they probably should not say or post it.

* Be specific about the risks of cyber-bullying and their need to tell you if something that bothers them occurs.

* Respect for adolescents’ privacy is important. But tell children that you may review their online communications if you have reason for concern.

* Set clear expectations for responsible online behavior and phone use and consequences for violating those expectations.

* Consider establishing a parent-child Internet use contract.

* Consider installing parental-control filtering software or tracking programs but do not rely solely on these tools.

* Be aware of warning signs that might indicate your son or daughter is being bullied, such as reluctance to use the computer, a change in the child’s behavior and mood, or reluctance to go to school.

* Document the bullying.

* Be equally alert to the possibility that your child could be bullying others online, even if unintentionally.

* Understand current local laws and your school policies. Work with your school to develop policies if they don’t exist.

* If you have concerns, contact your child’s school to enlist the help of the school psychologist, school counselor, principal or resource officer.

* File a complaint with the website, Internet service provider or cellphone company if you learn of problematic behavior.

* Contact police if the cyber-bullying includes threats.

The Congressionally mandated CyberTipline is a reporting mechanism for cases of child sexual exploitation including child pornography, online enticement of children for sex acts, molestation of children outside the family, sex tourism of children, child victims of prostitution, and unsolicited obscene material sent to a child. Reports may be made 24-hours per day, 7 days per week online at http://www.cybertipline.com or by calling 1-800-843-5678.